


Five Years in Hell

by Lialee



Category: Bleach
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-03
Updated: 2013-10-26
Packaged: 2017-12-28 07:17:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/989257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lialee/pseuds/Lialee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>RenjIchi: Renji went missing on a mission 5 years ago. Ichigo was devastated, but managed to eventually move on, never stopping loving the Reaper even after the declaration of his death months after his disappearance. And then the Red Head appears on his doorstep beaten, bloody, starving, and on the brink of death. TW: Rape, Torture, Gore. Appears in later Chapters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Confessions

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Again, this story does contain triggering content. However, aside from the smutty beginning in this chapter, it will not appear for a little while. I will post a warning with the the chapter once it is uploaded. For now, I hope you enjoy.

Ichigo collected his dishes off the table, and walked them over to the sink as he nodded his thanks to his younger sister, Yuzu. Yawning, he made his way up the staircase to his room, planning to go to bed for the night, and closing the door behind him, he began to take of his shirt, tossing the pile of cloth to the wall of his closet before moving to unbutton his jeans, not realizing that there was someone standing behind him...

* * *

 “Bo~ring!” Renji called to no one in particular, expressing his distaste for the lack of things to do on his required ‘vacation’.  With an agitated sigh, he turned his head in the direction of the Senkaimon, debating on going to see if seeing Ichigo would be any more entertaining. After all, what had he to lose? It wasn’t like he was skipping out on work, and Ichigo generally didn’t mind the increased frequency of his visits, although the lack of notice did seem to get on his nerves a bit…

Ah well. He didn’t care. Quickly flash stepping to the Senkaimon, he made his way out of the Seireitei and into the world of the living. He’d left his zanpakuto behind. He was supposed to be taking a break, after all, and things in the world of the living, specifically Karakura town wasn’t nearly as dangerous as it once had been. The occasional hollow that did show up was generally easily disposed of using Kido. He stepped silently onto the window sill of the teen’s room. The dark brown orbs widened in surprise at the sight of the half naked and stripping Ichigo, and he couldn’t help but chuckled and give a sly grin. “Do ya need some help with that?”

Ichigo whipped around in surprise, eyes settling on Renji as he quickly re-zipped his jeans and fumbled to re-zip them, his mind racing as he wondered where the hell the other had come from. “C-Course not.” He stuttered and tried to stop the heat that was rising in his cheeks. He couldn’t even undress in peace anymore, it seemed. He wasn’t blind to the amusement crossing the Lieutenant’s face at his reaction, and watched as he made his way out of the window and into the room, walking a bit closer.

Reluctantly giving up on the flustered appearance his face was now taking, he scowled at the other, finally managing to get his pants buttoned.  “What are you doing here, anyways?”

With a dismissive shrug, and a smirk, Renji raised an eyebrow, enjoying Ichigo’s embarrassment far too much. “I got bored and figured I’d come hang out with ya.” He grinned, looking the other over as he got his pants re-buttoned. “Are ya sure ya don’t need help? I mean, ya look like yer fumblin’ quite a lot there. Maybe ya need some steady hands ta work their magic.~”

Ichigo took a step back from Renji, retreating from him and going for his discarded shirt that he’d left abandoned on the ground before Renji’d appeared. “Yeah, I’m sure.” He stated as firmly as he could with his voice as nervous as it was. “I don’t need any help dressing or undressing myself…” He muttered, leaning down to grab the shirt and finding that it had been moved, and was now dangling in the hand of the Shinigami who had shunpoed and beaten him to it.

A glare crossed his face as he reached out to grab it, and the redhead held it out of his reach, and leaned down a bit to stare directly into Ichigo’s eyes as he spoke, beginning to enjoy his little game _far_ too much. “Though, it seems like ya do need help, cause when I first showed up ya were gettin’ undressed.~ Yer not nervous or anythin’, are ya?”

 “I’m not nervous.” He snapped, a bit too quickly, trying to calm the red flush continuing to grow in his cheeks but only serving to making it worse as he thought about the other seeing him undressing. “And yeah, I was, but I’m getting dressed now because a certain red head showed up.” He pointed out with a irritable growl.

There was no way he was going to get undressed in front of the lieutenant. Especially considering the harbored feelings he felt for him.  Renji’s teasing wasn’t helping his own mental confusion, and he wanted to tell the other how he felt about him. The affection that had grown over time, but he wasn’t sure if he felt the same, and he didn’t want to be rejected by him. This little game the other was playing with him made him wonder if he was trying to hint he felt the same, or if it was just a joke, and both thoughts overwhelmed him with opposing emotions.

"Ya sure look nervous ta me" He grinned tossing the shirt to the other side of the room without a care in the world while he looked down at the others flushed form. He couldnt help the way his heart began to race at the sight before him. The two of them were completely unaware of the other’s affections towards each other. And both feared telling the other for the possibility of losing one another, not wanting the relationship they already had to crumble around them. "Yer face is flushed and yer snappin at me. There's no reason ta be nervous, I could just close my eyes" he said grinning as he took a step closer to the orangette, placing a hand over his eyes dramatically, before looking through the cracks of his fingers with a smirk.

Ichigo scowled at the other, then glanced away, looking towards where his shirt had been thrown. “Shut up...” He growled lightly, each movement of the other making it more and more difficult to deny to himself how Renji was making him feel. How each subtle and suggestive movement made him want the other more and more, and how with each beat of his now pounding heart, he feared he’d do something that he’d regret terribly. Without speaking another word, he attempted to step around the other, only to be stopped by a firm hand grabbing his arm and pulling him back, forcing him to collide with the other’s chest.

The lieutenant refused to allow Ichigo get away that easily.  This was a game, after all, and he wanted to play. Wanted to see how far he could take the little game without making things awkward between them. A devilish expression crossed his face. “Aww, come on Ichi~ let me help you out just a little.” He begged in a childlike tone, biting his lip seductively as he gazed down at the form beneath him. He wasn’t planning on forcing the teen into anything he didn’t want, of course, but with the way Ichigo was reacting, he couldn’t help but continue playing.

Feeling Renji loosen his grip on his arm, Ichigo pulled away from him, stepping back a few feet as he felt his face burning like wild fire. With how he was currently feeling, Renji had pulled him too close, making him uncomfortable. He wasn’t sure what Renji was trying to do, whether it was just him simply teasing, and pulling a fairly cruel prank on him, or if the advances were actually serious. If Renji was actually trying to tell him that he wanted him.  “I’m fine, Renji… Thanks… He muttered, still moving back as he collided with the wall, and cursing under his breath.

Closing the distance between them, Renji placed his hands on either side of Ichigo’s head, looking down at him, but still leaving enough space from him to move away if he really wanted to. It didn’t stop the smirk on his face from widening, however. “So ya have nowhere left ta run, Ichi. What’ll ya do now? Are ya goin’ to continue tryin’ ta run from me?”

Amber flared up at the other, and Ichigo’s eyes slightly widened.  His heart had increased in its rate of beating in his chest. He knew that in his human form, unless he could manage to get the badge that was presently resting on his desk, he would likely be easily overpowered by the other. His face lit up more and more, the thoughts of Renji dominating him filled his mind as an uncomfortable silence between the two of them swelled after the question.

When he managed to say something, it came out as a stutter, finding himself unable to speak properly to the other. He didn’t have an answer, at least, not one he could presently find the ability to say.

_This was all a game... Just a game._

Renji tried to repeat to himself those words, though with the pink in Ichigo’s cheeks and the stuttering he was now doing, it was becoming harder and harder for him not to claim the orange haired shinigami’s soft lips... “What is it, Ichi? Are ya gonna run?” He was almost sure the other wasn’t feeling exactly what he was, that this was just Ichigo’s body reacting to what was going on, and almost positive that if he did kiss Ichigo, the teen would probably kill him, so he held himself back just a little while longer as he stared into Ichigo’s eyes, watching for his reaction to the question.

The orangette felt his stomach coil in on itself as he stared back into Renji’s watchful eyes. There was a part of him that wanted to run, simply out of his own nervousness regarding the situation. But there was another part, a part that was overwhelming every other thought he had, that didn’t want to move. A part of him that **wanted** to stay there and see where this went, see if Renji was going to return his feelings without him having to say a word. It was the same part of him that had wanted Renji for so long.

Managing to push through the lock in his throat, Ichigo uttered a single word.

“N- _no._ ”

The red head grinned, though his heart pounded in his chest so hard he could swear the other could hear it. Every fiber of his essence wanted Ichigo, and with that one soft whisper of ‘no’ as the other answered his question broke all his reserves.

Unable to hold himself back any longer, he leaned in and quickly pressed his lips against Ichigo’s, softly kissing him just to test the waters before he got serious. It was shocking to him to feel the other kiss him back, almost immediately after their lips had met. He could feel heat radiating from the other’s cheeks and licked Ichigo’s bottom lip lightly, inviting him to deepen the kiss, to let Ichigo’s own tongue come out and play.

Ichigo could feel the coil already growing within him tighten at the feeling of the wet muscle brush against his lips, and with some extra prompting from Renji, he hesitantly allowed them to fall open, his tongue moving out to greet the visitor.  Relief washed over him, as the full realization of what was happening filled his mind. That Renji was actually kissing him, and that he was kissing back.

A similar thought process was going through Renji’s mind as well, his heart skipping a beat in his chest when he felt Ichigo’s tongue brush against his own. _I can’t believe Ichigo’s actually going along with this..._  He brought up his hand from the wall to cup the other’s cheek in his hand, the other falling to wrap around Ichigo’s waist. He didn’t want to take anything too far, but he couldn’t help but pull him closer. The feeling of Ichigo’s lips against his own was just so _good_ and he didn’t want the feeling to go away so soon _._

Though Ichigo, however, wanted to get as much out of this as he could. He wanted to show Renji just how long he’d been wanting him, and now that Renji had started it… well he wasn’t sure if he wanted to stop.  The pressure in his jeans began to rise as he was drawn into the other’s chest again, this time not trying to move away, and he groaned softly into the kiss, regretting the fact that he’d redone his pants.

This was more than the red head could have ever asked for, but he wanted more... much... much more. He could feel himself become strained against the fabric of his Hakama as Ichigo released that small moan. Breaking the kiss to let the other breathe, Renji began kissing down the orange haired man’s neck, nipping slightly at his pulse point. “Ichigo...” He whispered, though his voice sounded husky and full of need that only the other could help with.

Ichigo had allowed his head to dip down when his lips were released. His chest rose and fell as he panted breathlessly, the sensation of the other’s lips against his own still lingering. He felt Renji kiss and nip down his neck and moved his head to one side, allowing the other to continue with ease. As his legs began to weaken beneath him, he found his hand had to aid him in holding himself up, pushing up against the wall he was now willingly pinned against.

The husky, lust-filled and needy voice that the red head spoke in did nothing to help the pressure that was now becoming almost painful. He opened his eyes halfway and looked down at the other who was still at his neck as he fought another moan. “R-Renji...” He groaned, making a similar needy tone to the lieutenants that was lined with the innocence that the virgin held.

Renji only pressed his body closer, grinding their arousals together in the heat of the moment. He smirked when he felt that Ichigo was just as affected by this as he was, and realized that Ichigo’d probably had been wanting him for as long as he did.

Letting out a soft groan, he pushed their hips together once more at the sound of the teen’s voice. Renji’s head was spinning as he took the extra room the other had given him and began placing soft nips along his entire neck.

“What is it, Ichi? Tell me what ya want.” He breathed against the small red mark he left at the base of Ichigo’s neck, as he pushed their hips together again. “Talk to me, Ichi, I... I wan...na... know... what yer thinkin’.”

Ichigo’s head tilted back and he howled a moan louder than before at the friction. His mind was racing. His heart pounded in his chest like nothing he’d ever felt before, and it was _addicting._

When he opened his mouth to speak and was interrupted by the grinding, and a particularly loud gasp taking place of his words. It took him a moment to get his breathing under control enough for him to speak. “P-Please, Renji... It hurts!” He groaned, wanting the other to relieve the pressure for him, to replace the pain in his arousal with unadulterated pleasure.

It was then that Renji realized that Ichigo was more innocent than he had though he was, and he gave an amused grin. “It’s okay Ichi, Ill help ya” he cooed against the others neck before letting his fingers trace down the muscular build of the teen. “Is this what hurts?” he asked, rubbing his fingers along the outside of the others pants feeling the stiff member beneath. 

Deftly undoing the buttons of Ichigo’s jeans, Renji let his hand slip inside while his fingers wrapped around the others length. “How’s that feel? Hmm Ichigo~?” he smiled as he slid his tongue up Ichigos neck before whispering in his ear. “I can give ya more if ya want.”

It throbbed beneath his touch, and Ichigo release a pleasured, yearning moan, his body absolutely aching for more. “Y-yes.” He stuttered hotly, “Th-there.” His cheeks burned, and without the thick, constricting Denim, the pressure felt slightly relieved, and not nearly as painful, although it was still there. Feeling Renji’s hand slip beneath the white fabric of his underwear and wrap around his shaft, he let out a sudden gasp, loving the heat it brought.

His half hard erection livened more at the combination of friction and the heated suggestion that now rung in his ears. “Pl-please,  _Renji._ " He moaned the other’s name.

”Good, Ichi~” He cooed in the others ear. As he began moving his hand within the teen’s pants, he took the liberty of using his other hand to push Ichigo’s jeans and underwear down completely, the fabrics piling on the floor at their feet. Kissing and nipping down the male’s neck, the Lieutenant began to make his way down the teen’s chest, stopping at one of the hard nubs that dotted the others sculpted body. 

Lapping at the small nub he took it in his mouth and began to suck on it while he moved his hand slowly up and down Ichigos shaft. 

A calloused hand came up to Ichigo’s mouth to muffle his own moans. He arched his back, to both allow the removal of the remainder of his clothing easier, as well as a response to the pleasure and to urge the other to continue. 

When Renji took his nipple into his mouth, the boy jerked, feeling the electric pleasure rake through his body and into his already weakening legs. If this continued the way it was, he knew his legs would give out.

He took his hand from between his teeth and a strand of saliva followed stretched between the skin and teeth. An involuntary whimper came from him with nothing left to suppress him from vocalizing his pleasure. ”Ren-Renji, I-ah~ I’m going to fall.”

Leaning up, Renji couldn’t help but smile at the other, his own eyes clouded with lust. Without warning he reached down and lifted Ichigo up by the back of his thighs and placed the teen’s legs around his hips, earning a startled yelp from the teen. “How ‘bout we go to the bed then~” He cooed as he brought his hands down to grip at Ichigos ass before walking towards the bed, feeling Ichigo’s fingers dig into the black cloth of his kosode and slip if off his shoulders.

Once there he gently laid the orangette down, said male releasing his grip on his clothing, and he climbed on top of him letting his still clothed arousal grind into Ichigo’s, while he resumed his teasing by nibbling on previously ignored nipple. “Ichi~’ He breathed heavily against the others skin, gripping at Ichigo’s ass bringing the others hips up to meet his own, creating even more friction between the two.

Without the threat of falling distracting him, Ichigo had become significantly more sensitive, nothing pulling his attention away from the skilled movements of the older male. He arched his back, aiding Renji in creating the friction between them, and craving more of it. His fingers dug into the bed, balling the sheets in the palms of his hands as his fingers curled.

This was more, much, _much_ more, than the Lieutenant could have ever asked for…but he was far from done. When Ichigo began pressing back, Renji groaned against his soft skin. He began kissing further down the orangette as he nipped at each ab muscle that was presented to him until he reached what he had been wanting all this time, able to hear the slowing of Ichigo’s breath as he became used to the teasing he was being presented with.

Without any warning, Renji took Ichigos arousal into his mouth and began teasing the tip of it with his tongue before dipping down to take as much as he could.  ** _I wonder how far he’ll let me_** _go…._  He began to think to himself while bobbing his head at a slow pace, taking all he could manage before coming back up to run his tongue along the tip of him, then dipping back down as slow as he possible.

Moaning with the electricity each nip brought, Ichigo found his mind clouded with pleasure, not expecting what Renji had planned for him.

A shocked gasp escaped his lips, one that quickly warped into a heated yowl of pleasure as he fought to buck up into Renji’s mouth.  The heated warmth felt _glorious_ around his tense arousal. He needed more, so much more, and he begged Renji for it through his abused and red lips.

And Renji happily obliged, the moans of the other only fueling him on.  He wanted to give Renji every pleasure he could, wanting to see his lover writhing beneath him while his legs were wrapped around his waist, but that would have to wait. Releasing the teen from his mouth he began to suck on to fingers before quickly taking him back in when Ichigo released a groan of irritation at the lack of heat, pleading with him not to stop, and amused at the way Ichigo’s hips had followed after his retreating mouth. He didnt want Ichigo to know what he was doing, not yet. 

Taking one of the orangette’s legs he put it onto his shoulder and began bobbing his head faster than before. Slowly and surly with each moan the teen released he got closer and closer to what he wanted until his slicked fingers were pressing up against Ichigos entrance teasingly. 

 The fingers pushed lightly against the muscle, and Ichigo tensed somewhat before he allowed his eyes to open halfway, biting lightly at his lip as he watched Renji. “D-do it.” He urged, wanting to feel Renji stretching him open, to feel his fingers submerged within him.

Ichigo’s lust filled moans were absolutely incredible to Renji, and sent shivers throughout his entire body. When he heard Ichigo encourage him to continue, he couldn’t help but smirk and take him even more into his mouth. He loved the taste and feel of the other, and never wanted this to stop. 

Inserting one of his slicked fingers into the tight muscle of Ichigos entrance he began to move faster, and took in more of the other shinigami, wanting any uncomfortable sensation to fade away with the pleasure he was trying to give Ichigo. Thrusting his finger slowly into the other he hummed around Ichigos member letting the vibrations of his throat tease him, and earning a breathless gasp from the male below.

He felt Ichigo tighten around his fingers, and continued bobbing his head up and down whilst humming to try and get him to relax a bit, and once he did, he inserted his second finger and stretched him out. He pulled off Ichigo, placing a kiss on his hip before looking up at the other, “If it hurts too much Ichigo, let me know and I’ll stop.” He murmured, before licking up from the base of his lover’s shaft and taking him back into his mouth.

Ichigo only barely understood what Renji had said, but he nodded, trusting that the momentary discomfort and pain that was to come would be overshadowed by pleasure the other brought.  He felt his leg fall off the other’s shoulder as Renji pulled off his arousal the cold air gripped it, sending a gasp through his lips. He looked up at the form above him, his eyes half closed and hazed over in need for the other.

Renji continued to thrust his fingers into him, peering down at Ichigo and biting his lip as he took in the lewd expression the substitute had taken, “Ya wouldn’t happen ta have anything that would make this easier, would ya?” He could feel his cheeks flushing a bright shade of red as he smiled warmly down at the other. “I could use spit… but if ya had anythin’ else I wouldn’t be opposed ta usin’ it.” he noted, before leaning down and kissing him softly.

Finding it difficult to respond to Renji through the sounds that involuntarily spilled from his lips, he shook his head, “A-ah~ I d-didn’t exactly plan this.” He managed to gasp out as Renji continued to shove his fingers deeper and harder into him. “I don’t have anything.”

Renji’s smile widened, thrusting his fingers into the teen and loving how his face contorted. “No worries Ichigo~ I’ll just go slow then~” He purred as he pulled his fingers out completely before using his own spit to lube his arousal up enough so that it wouldn’t hurt the other. “Are ya ready?” he leaned back over Ichigo as he guided himself to the other soul reapers entrance, watching the other release a yearning whimper from the lack of stimulation as he gave him a quick nod.

“I’m ready~”

”Just relax~” Renji cooed pressing his lips against Ichigo’s, giving the other an approving hum as he pressed back. He had no wish to hurt the teen, and he wanted the other to enjoy it just as much as he would. Hoping that the orangette was really ready, Renji began to slowly push himself inside Ichigo. He clenched the sheets beside the others head as he pressed into the kiss harder, shoving his tongue into Ichigo’s mouth when he heard the other’s groans mix in as Renji stretched out far more than he had before.

The teen found himself opening his mouth into the kiss as Renji deepened it, feeling their lips pressing together with a large amount of force.  He was using the kiss to distract himself from the pain of being stretched out so much, although upon occasion, he’d find himself breathless from the shock of it. His mouth would open wider, and his muscles would tighten.

Breaking the kiss, a loud moan echoed through the room as Renji hit…  _something_ that sent waves of pleasure soaring through his body, washing away any pain that may have been there. _“Renji.”_ The name was said with a needy moan, “ _There.”_

”I….I know Ichi~” He moaned as he slowly pulled his hips back before snapping forward to hit that spot deep within the teen. He wanted to hear his name roll off of Ichigos lips more, he wanted to hear his name screamed out. Reaching down he wrapped his fingers around the others member and began pumping in time with his thrusts.

"Ichigo~…" He groaned, the tight feeling of the others warmth surrounding him was intoxicating as he continued to snap his hips into the other faster, making sure to hit his prostate with every thrust. 

The sounds coming from Ichigo grew with each thrust against his prostate.  His head tilted back, moving his hands from Renji’s shoulders to his hair, tightly gripping and pulling at the other’s crimson strands. The remainder of the pain disappeared with each wave of pleasure that crashed through him.

When he felt Renji’s hand clasp around his own member, he let out another moan, only to yell out Renji’s name as this ecstasy he was feeling escalated to places he never believed he would go. He was begging for more, repeatedly calling out Renji’s name and begging him to harder, faster. To give him more of the feeling he now _ached_ for from the man above him.

Unable to hold himself back he leaned up and removed himself from the teen before flipping Ichigo over and pulling his hips up so that he was on his knees. “I’ll give ya what ya want Ichi~” He purred leaning over the other while pushing himself back into the orangette’s tight entrance once again. 

Grasping the teen’s hips he pulled Ichigo back onto him as he continued to thrust forward into him harder than before, giving the orangette what he begged for. Groaning he tilted his hips slightly to hit Ichigo’s prostate with each hard thrust. He moaned out the others name wanting to feel him climax and his muscles tighten around the redhead’s member.

Ichigo gripped into the sheet of the bed as his face pressed against it, his sweat making the fabric stick to his skin. Panting hard between moans as he fought to catch his breath, only to have Renji thrust back into him again and remind him why he had been breathless in the first place.

Heat collected within him, and his back arched as his body tightened. “R-Renji, I-I’m gonna—!”

Reaching around the other, Renji began to pump Ichigo’s arousal in time with his thrusts. “Cum fer me Ichigo~” He moaned through clenched teeth. Renji was so close, he felt the knot in his stomach tighten and it was almost unbearable. Pumping Ichigo faster he leaned forward to nip at the teens neck begging for him to cum as the other tightened around him. 

Those four words were enough to bring the young shinigami over the edge, and he came into Renji’s hand, the ring of muscle that Renji had stretched out tightened as white fluid spilled all over  his bed and the red head’s hand. He continued to pant and moan, beads of sweat rolling down his face as he rode out his orgasm, Renji thrusting within him for a few more short moments before cumming inside him, moaning Ichigo’s name as he did so.

As the two came down from their pleasure filled highs, Renji pulled out of his lover, bringing his hand up to his mouth and licking it clean of the other’s release as lay beside his lover and smirked at him, “Ya taste good, Ichi~” He said, wrapping his arms around Ichigo and pulling him closer.

Ichigo buried his face into the other’s chest, still trying to slow his elevated heart-rate from their little endeavor together. He found himself embarrassed by Renji’s comment, but his face was already as red as it would go, and he didn’t have the energy to fight with him about it. So he simply gave a satisfied hum. Relaxing into the other’s arms and enjoying the embrace of the other.

Renji only laughed as he felt Ichigos heated face against his bare skin. Finishing with cleaning off his hand he pulled the sheet over them and held the other tightly. “Ichigo~” He wrapped both arms tightly around the teen. “You were Incredible….Im glad I got ta do this with ya” He smiled kissing the other on the top of his head.

Smiling against the other’s skin, he allowed himself to nuzzle further into the other’s chest, no longer out of embarrassment, but of affection instead. “Renji… I… I love you.” He said, finally confessing his feelings to the other, and almost sure that the other felt the same.

The red headed lieutenant blinked down at Ichigo, momentarily surprised by the confession before he pulled Ichigo’s chin into his hand and forced him to look up at him. “I know.” He stated softly, pulling the other into a loving, affectionate kiss. “And I love ya too.”


	2. Proposal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's a bit short. Sorry.

Sunlight peered through the window into Ichigo’s room, illuminating the forms of the two lovers who lay in the small, twin sized bed. Renji leaned up onto his elbow, running his fingers gently through the hair of the younger male. They’d been together for over a year now, and their relationship wasn’t really a secret. Never really had been.

Rukia had managed to figure it our fairly quickly, in fact, it was mostly the women who figured it out on their own. Most of the men didn’t figure it out until they were told, but that was earlier on in the relationship. Now Renji was thinking about taking it to the next step, but there were some things he needed to take care of first. Pushing himself off the bed, he placed a kiss on the still sleeping teen’s forehead, and made his way to the door of the room, slipping a shirt on over his torso as he left.  
Nervousness raked through his form as he made his way down the staircase, looking for the man he was sure was likely awake by now. He paced around the corner and into the doorway of the front room, where Isshin was sitting and watching TV.  
The red haired male took a deep breath before stepping into the room and requesting his lover’s father’s attention. When Isshin looked up at the other male, he could see the nervousness hidden in the other’s expression. With a smile, the man stood up and patted the other lightly on the back, resulting in a jolt from the other. He’d grown fond of the Lieutenant over the past year, and already saw him as a son, the jolt of nervousness amused him. “Whatever you have to say, you can say it. No need to be so nervous around me son. I’m sure, even if it’s bad, it’ll still be nothin’ I can’t kick your ass for.” He grinned, before flopping back down lazily on the couch.  
A bead of sweat dripped downed Renji’s face, and before he had the chance to panic, the man bowed before his lover’s father, and asked for the teen’s hand in marriage.  
Isshin’s eyes went wide at the question. Sure he’d been expecting the news to come sooner or later, but he had a newfound respect for the man, glad that he’d had the respect to ask him first, and gave a chuckle before motioning to Renji to join him on the couch beside him so that he didn’t have to stand up again.  
"Son, We’ve welcomed you into the family the moment you two told us you were dating. As long as you promise me you will never hurt, or betray my son or family I will gladly give my permission to ask Ichigo to marry you."  
Beaming with happiness, Renji could only pull the man into a tight hug, thankful that he wasn’t shunned away, and ecstatic that he had the permission to spend the rest of his life with the person he loved the most.  
"Though, if you’re going to have a wedding I want you two to wait until Ichigo is out of school. Alright?"  
Quickly agreeing to that simple condition, Renji once again bowed to the older male this time in thanks as opposed to the nervous, stiff, and respectful one he’d given before, and turned to go awaken his lover, and get him ready for the day he’d had planned.  
Ichigo was still asleep when he went back upstairs, and Renji turned the chair to face the small bed. Sitting down, he reached out and gently rubbed the orange hair covering the other’s head, softly calling out his name. “Ichigo…~” He hummed, happiness still ringing in his voice as he waited for the other to wake up.  
It took another few moments, but eventually, amber slowly opened to look up and meet the chocolate orbs of his lover. Giving a displeased hum, Ichigo clenched his eyes shut, “Renji… leave me alone I’m tired.” He muttered irritably.  
“Come on, I have a surprise for you.” A chuckle mixed with the words, as he pulled lightly on the other’s hair. He only got a grunt in response.  
Grinning, Renji stood up, leaning over the other and kissing his cheek, “Ichi~” He sang into Ichigo’s ear, earning a slight scowl from the teen before he batted his lover away.  
“Alright alright… I’m getting up gimmie a second…”  
Tired. That’s all he was at the moment. Ichigo just wanted to sleep, the day before had been long and tedious, having to catch up on school work as well as handle the hollows that had decided to pop up around town had exhausted him. However he knew that Renji wouldn’t give up until he did, and didn’t really feel like fighting the red head at the moment.  
Pulling himself up into a sitting position, Ichigo gave a wide yawn, and rubbed at his eyes using his palms before popping the kinks in his back. “What is it?”  
“Go get yer swimming suit. We’re goin’ ta the beach.”

Renji and Ichigo had spent a large majority of their time at the beach, to which at first Ichigo’d been resistant to, but once they got there, the two of them had a lot of fun. After the beach, they rented out a hotel room, and took a fairly long shower together, simply enjoying each other’s presence before Renji pulled out two fairly nice outfits for the both of them to wear to dinner.  
The lieutenant had planned everything in advance. Before he’d asked Ishhin, before he’d even gotten the ring he’d made sure that everything would be perfect for his Ichigo, and so far, everything was.  
He’d asked some of Ichigo’s friends and family where his favorite place to eat was, and had felt somewhat ashamed that he didn’t know until he’d felt he really needed to. It turned out, that Ichigo enjoyed a small sushi shop on the edge of town, not just because they had excellent food, but also because there was a chocolate dessert there that he loved to eat, and that was the only place he knew where to get it.  
The two of them talked, and laughed together as they ate. Some of the things they spoke about were fairly silly to be completely honest, but it was the love they shared that gave importance to it.  
They’d almost finished eating, Renji had just finished his sushi, and Ichigo was taking one of his final bites, when the redheaded shinigami stood up, and amber followed after him curiously before Ichigo sat up himself, and as Renji pulled out the little box, Ichigo choked on his food and a dark blush filled his cheeks.  
So that’s what today was about. Renji had wanted to make this day as memorable as he could for the both of them. That’s why he chose here, why he spent the day with him at the beach and did everything he could to keep Ichigo happy today.  
"Ichigo, I will always love you. My life has been nothing but perfect since the day we first told each other our feelin’s for one another. I want you ta know, that no matter what I will always love ya." He smiled getting down on one knee (like he had read in the human books) and opening the box to reveal a beautiful white gold band. "I always want ya by my side Ichigo, would ya do me the honor of becomin’ my husband?"  
Ichigo’s voice caught in his throat. He didn’t know what to say, well, he did, but the words refused to make their way past the blockade his neck seemed to have created.  
After a few moments of silence, Ichigo looked down fondly and lovingly at his lover, happiness overwhelming him.  
“Renji…”


	3. Reunion

Twenty two, and cool metal had long since become warm in Ichigo's hand. The band that had bound him to his lover over five years earlier. The ring that had held the promise they both agreed to, the physical embodyment of their love, affections.  

 

And his sorrow. 

 

It had been over five years since Renji's proposal. The happiest day of both of their lives. The day had been perfect, and of course Ichigo had said yes, then later teased Renji about being so formal. But he loved it. The thought put into it, the effort Renji had put into the day to make it as perfect as he possibly could. He wouldn't have changed anything that happened that day. 

 

What came after that is what broke him. Only few months after the proposal, Renji had to leave for a trip to the states. The mission had only been supposed to last a week, a routine practice where he had to go and clean up some hollows that had collected in Florida.  A week turned into weeks, weeks to months, and with no one able to find him, traces of the redhead's reiatsu growing stale, he was announced dead. Five years since that day. Two years since he'd finally stopped looking with the urging of Rukia who found herself worried for Ichigo's health. One year since he'd managed to fight through the depression that had come with the lack of some distraction. And four months since he'd finally managed to find somewhere to live on his own without relying on his father, who had tried to help pass the time by teaching Ichigo basic medical procedures. 

 

Never once had he given up on believing that Renji was still out there. That his lover still remained somewhere in the world and that he hadn't been abandoned. Sometimes, though, his hopes faltered. He'd find himself fighting to keep his hopes alive, only to watch them be poisoned and crumble with the doubts of maybe Renji had chosen to leave. That he never really wanted him, and that he'd used this as a chance to break off. 

 

Now was almost one of those times. Because he refused to allow himself to believe Renji was dead. 

 

A growl came from the man's stomach. He needed to eat. Going without food for as long as what had become habitual for him wasn't healthy, and sighing, he put the ring back into the small velvet box and slid it beneath his pillow before he stood up, heading to his kitchenette.  

 

Stepping through the living room, a soft sound at the door caught his attention. That was... Odd. Generally those who came to visit him called first, allowing him to figure life out on his own. He'd asked them to give him some space, being around too many people too often triggering memories and thoughts he'd rather forget. 

 

He opened the door, eyes widening as he stared at the man in front of him, at once recognizing the crimson red hair and black tattoos. At once his mind clouded itself from anything else. His heart pounded in his chest, waves of desperation, confusion and pain all ramming against his consciousness. He glared, blinded by his emotions as he lifted his arms and slammed his palms against his lover's chest. "Where the fuck have you been!?" 

 

Renji stumbled back, and Ichigo could feel bone shift beneath the skin of the lieutenant's chest. Rage faded into worry and horror as he watched the man fall to his knee's, the blood and defeat cladding the other's form becoming terribly apparent.  

 

A hiss of agony slipped through the red head's teeth, but he continued to stare up at the other. Continued to stare at and take in the features that he so longed to see. "I thought I'd never see ya again, Ichigo... I... ...I thought..." Focus faded from his eyes, fighting to keep the other engraved in his memory, to recreate the image that had become so dull and faded over the years. "I... ...I stayed....... alive... just........ for..... ya...." He fought to say the final words as his eyes rolled back into his head, collapsing into the arms of the substitute diving to catch him. 

 

 Renji's body was beaten and broken, his breathing shallow and ragged.  Blood crusted and stained the clothes of his Gigai,  and there was no way he'd be able to get out of the Gigai before he, and it, had been healed. Death was slowly wrapping him in its embrace.

 

As Ichigo took in the broken and bloodied form of his lover, a shudder overtook him, becoming angry with himself for what he had assumed. The reaction to Renji's appearance had been uncalled for, and the actions he'd taken could have easily worsened the wounds that were now all becoming more and more apparent to the male as he looked over his lover's form.

 

 Muscles had degraded, leaving his skin to warp around his bones, the tribal tattoos only barely recognizable on his skin that was torn scarred and cut in multiple places, blood seeping through soiled bandages that hadn't been changed in days. Bone pressed against the flesh in his lower leg, and his hip sat at an awkward angle. Guilt washed over him like a flood at all the thoughts he'd had in the past year, the waters quickly warping into hatred as he realized that someone had done this to him.  That someone had taken Renji from him for five years and put him into such a desperate state. And he found himself resenting whoever it had been, human or not. Stayed alive? God, Ichigo had never loathed anyone so much in his life.

 

Careful not to hurt Renji any more than he already was, Ichigo lifted the Shinigami into his arms, closing the door behind them before quickly taking him to the bedroom, pressing his lips against Renji's forehead and feeling the feverish heat the skin emitted.

 

He didn't blame Renji for disappearing anymore. That line of thought had completely wiped itself from his mind.

 

Consuming him now was the need to get Renji's wounds treated, doing whatever he could to make sure that Renji didn't die. That he wasn't abandoned again.

 

"Don't worry… I'll take care of you…" Tears flowed down his cheeks, dripping into the clothing and diluting the blood, both fresh and dry on the other's skin. Placing a final kiss on his lost lover's temple, he left the room, leaving the door open as he collected a tub of warm water, multiple washcloths, gauze, bandage wraps, medical tape, short wooden planks and scissors. He'd need help, especially for the more serious injuries, but if Ichigo didn't stop or slow the bleeding, Renji would bleed out before any help arrived.

 

Having collected the needed supplies, he went back over to the bed, lifting Renji gently into a sitting position as he removed his clothing, revealing the wounds that had been agitated or reopened. Heat and mucus reached his nose, revealing the infection that many of his wounds likely suffered as he cut off the bandages, not bothering with gloves as he removed the soiled strips of fabric. A stab wound just left of his stomach, and another just left of his spine worried Ichigo the most. Who ever had done the bandaging knew what they were doing. The wraps seemed to be done professionally and with care, and with each detail he noticed he realized just how desperate his lover, his fiancée, had been to get back.

 

With all wounds revealed, scars, cuts, broken or fractured bones and dislocated joints, Ichigo felt what remained of his heart shatter, and murmuring a final sentence, he got to work.  He dipped a fresh washcloth into the water, starting to wipe away the blood coming from the wound on his stomach first, and pressing multiple pads of gauze against the wound, waiting for blood to stop seeping through before taping a fresh pad in place, and moving on to the next wounds.

 

He preformed the procedure to all of the wounds he possibly could,  refusing to stop until the blood had been completely wiped from his body. Fresh water was collected multiple times,  a thick aroma of rust filled the room to the point Ichigo had to get a fan, open the window, and still continuing to work, air out the room so the scent alone didn't make him pass out.

 

When that was finished, he took the limbs that could be splinted with what he had, and coaxed the bone into realignment before placing the wood against it and wrapping it until he was sure it would stay in place.

 

"Fuck… Renji what did they do to you…"

 

The substitute's first action after Renji was taken out of immediate danger was to call anyone he could think of that could help. Someone that could possibly heal Renji from the state he was in, the first name coming to mind being Orihime as he quickly dialed her number, his fingers shaking as he waited for her to pick up, the familiar voice repeating words he'd hoped he wouldn't hear. At least, not right now. He left both her and Urahara a message, neither picking up, him desperate for anyone to pick up. For someone to answer his calls and pleas for help.

 

He was desperate. With the blood no longer concealing the skin, Ichigo could see just how pale the other was. The detail of every scar and bruise, the infection festering beneath his skin only tore at Ichigo.  His eyes couldn't settle anywhere on the other's form without being reminded of how bad a state he was in, his mind already blocking out some of the injuries that made his stomach turn. Things he refused to allow himself to believe happened to the lieutenant, at least right now, for the sake of his own sanity.

 

He tried a third number. Rukia's. She'd given him a way to contact her even in soul society in the case that Ichigo ever needed her, for whatever reason it could be.  Right now, though, he needed her here. Needed her to bring some form of help for her friend and his lover.

 

"Hello?"

 

 The sound of her voice ringing through the speaker sent relieved chills down his spine. Tears almost threatened to spill down his face once more as he ran his fingers through his hair to calm himself down.  His body and hands trembled as he fought for the will to speak, finding it harder to say the words he needed to than he thought it would. "Rukia… I need your help…  I need you to get Unohana, Isane anyone just… help. Please." His voice was soft, hissing as he fought back the need to cry.

 

Once questioning tone became incredibly worried at Ichigo's request. "Ichigo, slow down. What are you talking about? What's wrong?"

 

"He's back. Rukia, Renji's back and he's dying."

 

Silence. It was all he was given. His heart pounded in his chest and ears, his mind throbbing in time with it from the overwhelming emotions he felt.

 

The response he was finally graced with was incredulous, "Are you sure?"

 

A sharp nod shook Ichigo's head, making his headache worse and forcing him to realize that she wasn't there, that she couldn't see him. "Y-Yeah I'm sure… I’ve done all I can with what Dad taught me but there’s nothing else I can do. And I can’t move him anymore than I already have to get him inside…” He paused, shoulders shaking, the pain in his mind making it more and more difficult to keep the tears from taking over. “Rukia I can’t lose him again.”

 

“I know." She sighed through the phone, not wanting to see the substitute go through all he had again. Trying to prevent him from dropping back into his depression that had taken him so long to break free of. “Try to get a hold of Orihime. I’ll talk to Unohana-Taicho and we’ll be there soon." And with that, she hung up. Ichigo brought his arm down and held the phone between his palms, pressing tightly against it as he allowed himself to cry, tears continuing to fall long after Ichigo's voice had given out, and the sobs could no longer be heard.

 

_Blood splattered on the floor once again as rusted steel dove into the flesh, tearing into his thigh. Screams of agony could be heard for blocks around the abandoned building as yet another object was plunged into his body, ripping him to shreds. Though, there was no one around that would care that a former Lieutenant of the 13 Court Guard Squads was in such a state._

_With each tear shed he whimpered Ichigo's name. Only his, and forcing more pain to be brought to him. Each time the men demanded he scream their names he only spoke Ichigo's. For the five years he'd been trapped in that torturous place the only word he ever spoke was 'Ichigo.' No matter what they did to him, no matter how hard they hit, how deep they cut, the only thing he allowed himself to think about was Ichigo, and how much his lover might be suffering, regardless of his own physical and mental wounds._

Renki's dreams were invaded with the torture of his final experience with his captors, the pain of the memories visible on the man's face as his unconsciousness became a screen for the horrific memories. Though instead of watching it, he was the actor, and each recollection of the pain caused his wounds to flare up in pain.

_Using only blood as lubricant, both men forced their way into him, ripping open the half healed wounds inside. With any rusted tool they could reach, they made fresh lacerations across his skin, marring the tattoos that had been so carefully placed onto his skin. The black marks themselves becoming long since unrecognizable over most of his flesh. They had him bent in such a way that the hip he'd just managed to force back into place was once again ripped from his socket. The cries of pain that ripped themselves from his raw throat only egged the two on, laughing as they continued his torture without any restraint._

 

It took a little under an hour for Rukia and the Captain to arrive, however, to the worried male, it felt like days. Each second was a second that could hold Renji's dying breath. Each minute a minute passed that could leave him truly and completely split in two, never to hold his second half again. During the time he waited for them to arrive, he never left the redhead's side,  wanting to be there when he woke up, and refusing to let the word 'if' cross his mind. His eyes stared dimmed and almost hopeless at Renji, feeling absolutely useless, since he could do nothing more to help. Nothing more to increase his chances.

 

 He'd pressed the phone so tightly in his hands that he found he had to put it down, out of fear of breaking the device.

 

_His leg fractured and snapped in multiple places as he was slammed into the ground repeatedly, broken and damaged ribs shifting within his chest, caused by the kicks he'd received when they were done. A punishment for not obeying his 'Masters' orders and his arm lay shattered where they stomped on it to hold him down. He was a nearly broken man who refused to allow that last little ember of his once blazing personality be snuffed out._

 

"Ich….I…..go…."He whimpered outside of his nightmare as fresh tears streamed down his cheeks. This was all his fault, all the pain, all the suffering he believed that he had put Ichigo through was because he was weak. His breathing was getting more and more erratic, both because of his dreams and because of the pain his body was being forced to endure. With his fever skyrocketing, his pulse slowly began to fade. Ichigo was right in believing that Renji was dying, with his infected wounds and broken and gashed body he wasnt recovering at all. If he didnt get help soon he would die.

 

Renji called out his lovers name again as his dreams turned for the worse. The last moments before he had been left for dead, which were the worst for the Lieutenant, for it was in those last few moments he truly believed he would die without being able to see his Ichigo once more.

 

The man the name belonged to, however, had been pacing around the room when he heard Renji call out to him. He moved quickly to the side of the bed that Renji had been placed upon, leaning over him carefully as not to disturb him as he checked frantically to see if the other was awake. Realizing he wasn't, he frowned, and moved gently onto the bed, sitting on the pillow and placing Renji's head onto his lap, blankly wiping away the tears that streamed down his face, his own tears having long since dried in crusted streams along his cheeks. His mind was beginning to pull itself back into its depression, recoiling from any thought of losing his lover again as it shut down.

 

Dulled eyes stared in silent agony as he absentmindedly stroked his lovers hair, wiping away tears as they showed themselves on his skin.

 

That was where he was when the two women arrived.

 

_A large boot was slammed into his face, forcing his frail body to skid across the floor, shards of broken glass, remnants of previous sessions, ripping through his skin. The larger of the two men pulled Renji up and held him in the air by his now frail, and brittle hair while the other man prodded the shriveled and beaten skin with rusty nails._

_"It'll end." They promised, taunting him with the words of a final release from the pain into the arms of death, "It'll all end if you just say our names, Pet." The larger one sneered, looking over the male as he writhed in pain. Again, however, he only called out his lover's name. The name of the one he'd give everything he had left to see again._

 

Rukia had a key. Ichigo had given it to her should she ever find herself worried about the substitute, per her own request. But as she realized that Ichigo's door had been left unlocked, she frowned, turning the handle and pushing her way inside, Unohana following close behind.

 

The scents of both fresh and oxidized blood hit their noses, the house reeked of the scent of gore, and a trail of blood led dripping along the carpet to Ichigo's room. Unohana immediately pushed ahead, following the trail into the substitute's room. After a moment's pause, Rukia followed her. They found the two men on the bed, Renji unconscious and Ichigo looking more forlorn and dead than he had in the past year.

 

Ichigo she'd recognized immediately. Even with him allowing his hair to grow out, his basic features were still the same. He was still the lean, tall substitute she'd learned to know and love.

 

Renji, however…

 

She almost couldn't believe it was really him. How could it be?  How could the man that she'd grown up with, become a shinigami with, and watched become a lieutenant be reduced to such a horrific state? She could see the defeated look of despair on the reaper's face, and for once, she didn't scold him for it. She was feeling the same thing herself.

 

Unohana quickly moved to the bed where the others were as Rukia stood dumbstruck behind her. While shocked at the other's condition she knew the moment she'd seen the man that the wounds had become infected, and if something wasn't done with abrupt haste, they'd lose him. She didn't have Ichigo move as she looked over the other's form, examining his state with closer attention. He likely wouldn't if she asked, and didn't have the heart to separate them after so long. If Ichigo didn't interfere then there was no reason for him to leave. The hazed over look in his eyes had revealed all she needed to know.

 

She carefully removed the wraps and looked over some of his worse wounds. The appearance of them brought a dark scowl to her normally kind expression. Renji hadn't been simply cut, or beaten. This was worse than that. The damage done here would take months, years to heal completely from. And even then... she wasn't sure if he'd ever be able to return to his duties. If not for the physical damage, for the mental.

 

She gave a soft glance over to Ichigo, "I know you're worried at the moment but I need you to trust me that I am not hurting him. Even if he flinches, what I have to do to fix him is going to be incredibly painful for him, but it has to be done."

 

Ichigo tore his eyes reluctantly from Renji's face to look at the 4th Squad's captain. The idea of Renji being put through anything else terrified him. He didn't want Renji to be put through anything else. But he knew she was right. Even denying the worst of what he'd seen, he knew she was right, and nodded before looking back at Renji, not speaking a word.

  

Unohana gave him a sympathetic look, her lips flattening as she turned to Rukia. "Go see if you can find Orihime. We are going to need her. When you return, lock the door and cast a kido to protect Ichigo's apartment." She instructed, expecting her to do as she was told before returning to her work.

  

As she looked him over she realized that more than just the open wounds needed tending to. Many scars littered his body that she feared needed to be reopened. They hadn't healed properly, and if left unattended, could lead to significantly worse problems in the future, though for now she decided to let it be, knowing that there were likely going to be many operations, even with Orihime's help, that would need to be done. For now, she focused on the red head's worse wounds. Specifically, the stab wounds in his stomach and back.

  

They'd already begun to close slightly, infection festering beneath the skin and turning it a sickening mixture of red and green. It had already begun to seep into his bloodstream, the veins leading from it appearing a bright red trailing beneath the skin. If she didn't get all the wounds closed in this operation, she'd at least get all the infection out, and pushing her Reiatsu into her hands, she began her work.

 

_____________________________________

 

Rukia had immediately followed what she had been told to do by her superior, almost eagerly, wanting to both get her friend healed as quickly as possible, and to leave the horrific sight behind.

  

She'd almost made it to the girl's house when she saw her walking hurriedly in the direction the shinigami had just come. Rukia quickly shunpoed to walk beside her, easily keeping pace with the worried woman. Orihime looked down at Rukia, her eyes displaying every emotion she felt, confusion, relief, worry... She had little clue as to what was going on. "Rukia, is it true? Is Abarai-Kun back?" She asked, gazing down at the raven haired shinigami without breaking pace.

  

Rukia gave a slight nod. "That’s why I'm here. He's dying Orihime. Unohana needs your help."

A nod came from her, as she quickened her pace into a run, heading to Ichigo's home as quickly as she possibly could. It wasn't long before she made her way to the door, and pushed her way in, heading to where she could feel Ichigo and Unohana's Reiatsu. Rukia stayed in the living room, obeying the second part of her order and setting up kido around the building.

  

When Orihime entered the room her hand flung to her mouth as she gaped in horror. "A-Abarai-Kun..." She murmured, tears welling in her eyes and spilling down her face.

 

 Unohana looked to the girl, still focusing on removing the infection from the first wound. This was going to take time, getting him into a stable state. "Inoue-san, I'm glad you're here." She smiled lightly, sympathetically at the girl, "I know how you must feel, but I need your help. As soon as I finish removing the infection, I need you to repair the wound, and only this one. I'd allow you to do them all, however these are not normal injuries, and need to be carefully watched."

  

Orihime nodded, wiping her face on her sleeve quickly before standing at the side of the bed, and looked at Ichigo as he stroked his lover's head gently, lovingly. It was agonizing to see them this way. To remember how happy the two had been together then see them now, one physically broken nearly beyond repair, and the other so devastated that he seemed an empty shell of himself.

  

"Now."

  

"Satun Keshhun, I reject." She called, holding out her hand to the wound and healing the first of many to come.

 

Silence reigned through the room after that, no one really feeling like talking. It was another few minutes before Renji broke the silence.

 

"I… Ichi…go…"

 

_Angered by his lack of respect, the men stabbed him for a final time, one in the back and the other in the stomach before Renji's hair was released and he was thrown across the room, slamming into the wall as he was left to bleed out. Leaving him to die, the two men left to clean themselves and find a new pet, as this one no longer had any use to them. Renji lay in a growing sea of his own blood, wanting to cry but his tear ducts having dried from overuse. Three final words left his lips before he blacked out._

Immediately, Ichigo's eyes brightened and he looked down at the red head, moving his thumbs soothingly over his temples. "I'm here, Renji, I'm here..." He murmured, making his presence known and speaking for the first time since the girls' arrival. The voice he spoke in sounded damaged and hoarse, betraying the fact that Ichigo had been crying not that long ago.

  

Sitting in the chair that Ichigo had placed at the side of the bed, Orihime looked at him sympathetically, not even being able to begin understanding what the two males were going through, but wanting to help them in any way she could.

 

"I'm... s…so…rry… Ichigo…"

 

Unohana could see the sudden terror flood the amber eyes of the twenty two year old as he looked at the damaged form of his lover.

 

 Shaking his head violently, Ichigo leaned down to place his lips on Renji's forehead, tears streaming down his face once more. "N-no... Renji there's nothing for you to apologize for.... You- you did nothing wrong... it's okay... it-it's okay. I don't blame you, just don't leave me..." He moved and rests his lips affectionately and lightly against Renji's before pulling away, "Please don't let me lose you again... I'm begging you... I’ve just got you back..." He whispered to the other, placing his forehead against the paled skin of the other's, weak and comparably dry tears dripping into the crimson hair.

 

_Pain, there was so much pain. Renji knew that he had to have died, he must be in the underworld now. To feel this pain he had to have been punished for something he had done. Was it because of what he did to his friends, because he was too weak? He didnt know, all he knew is that he would do nearly anything to make it all go away. His entire body felt like it was on fire, he felt as though he was being stabbed with as many rusty nails that the house he was trapped in held. The Lieutenant screamed out in agony and it seemed as though no one cared._

_He found himself back from the brink of unconsciousness in his dream and looked around him. He was laying in his own blood, and he was dying. “Ichigo?” He thought to himself, he could have sworn he heard his lovers voice. He would do anything to hear it once more. He truly didnt know if he would make it back to Japan especially in the condition he was in, but he promised himself that he would go to his lover. Turning over on his back he looked down at the wound in his stomach that was burning so much more than the rest. It felt as though someone were placing a white hot iron into his veins as he arched against the blood stained floor begging for it to stop._

 

His body writhed in Ichigos arms, he mumbled "Stop……please……."needing some sort of reprieve from the agony that he had been forced to suffer.


End file.
